I can see my skin is healing, ever so slowly. The bumps getting smaller, tone getting whiter and smoother.
Yet when progress seems to be made, a bad night’s sleep with intense itch undo all progress achieved. It is at this moment when self-doubt, frustration and anger sets in, accompanied with the pain, discomfort, anguish for a good day or so.
And then the pain subsides, the skin dries, you start flaking. You see progress and healing again, and then you wonder…. what’s next? Is it done, or time to brace yourself for another cycle of pain.
Understanding this somewhat predictable cycle is nonetheless soothing and prepares you to manage it.
But the necessary evil is to associate bouts of itchiness and skin tearing, and hence pain with healing. It is the way to lie to yourself, to keep you believing you are on track to progress, to stop you from taking the easy way out of applying the very poison that landed you in this situation.
Thats creative destruction.